Know Your English

“Welcome back! How was your trip to Bombay?”

“Pretty good, actually. It was quite relaxing. No one went off the deep end.”

“What deep end? What are you talking about?”

“When someone goes off the deep end, he becomes angry or hysterical.”

“In other words, the person loses his cool.”

“That’s right! He loses his temper.” “My aunt went off the deep end when her daughter came home well past midnight.”

“That’s a good enough reason to go off the deep end, I guess. My mother went off the deep end when she saw the mess the painters had made.”

“Did your boss go off the deep end when you told him you needed more time to complete the project?”

“I haven’t told him yet.”

“That’s understandable. Met our old friend Sujatha yesterday. Asked me to meet her at the Taj. She said that dinner would be on her.”

“That was nice of her. Did you go to the...”

“But how can dinner be ’on’ someone? You can have dinner ’with’ someone. How can you have it ’on’ someone?”

“When you have dinner with someone, you are...”

“You are eating along with that person. I know that!”

“When you inform someone that dinner is on you, you are telling him that you are treating him. You are going to...”

“In other words, you’ll be paying for the meal. It’s your treat.”

“Exactly! Why don’t you come around one o’clock tomorrow? Lunch will be on me." Sounds tempting, but I can’t. Have to go to the station tomorrow. Why don’t you take your colleague, Arjun?”

“No way! He’ll end up telling me about the niteflix he had the previous...”

“Niteflix? Never came across that word before. What does it mean?”

“Some people, as you know, have very long and complex dreams...”

“I know quite a few people, actually. Some of the dreams that my friend has are as long as a feature film.”

“And that’s what a ’niteflix’ is. A long, complex dream.”

“I see. Do you have niteflix?”

“No, I don’t. My father says he has niteflix every time he goes to sleep.”

“That’s interesting. I wonder if some of our well-known film directors have niteflix?”

“Why don’t you write to them and find out. Anyway, what did Sujatha have to say about her new job?”

“Nothing much, actually. Just said that her new boss doesn’t like her at all.”

“When he hired her, he probably thought she would become his echo chamber. But you know how...”

“Echo chamber? What does it mean?”

“An echo chamber is someone who agrees with everything another person says.”

“The person probably does this because he/she wants to please the other person.”

“Exactly! I’m told Shankar is his wife’s echo chamber.”

“ Why are you going to the station tomorrow?”

“Have to pick up Veeru’s father. You remember Veeru, don’t you? My neighbour who died as a very rich man.”

“One doesn’t die as something. One simply dies. Veeru died a rich man.”

“My uncle too died a very rich man.”

“Too bad you didn’t get any of the money!”

* * *


“The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.” — Jay Leno